BIRTHDAY LOVE LETTER TO YOUNGER ME

Dear Younger Self,

You won't win being nice. I don't mean go around being an asshole to people. It means listening and understanding your Daddy's words, "My dear daughter even if you don't like something always be civil." Don't be quiet about bad behaviour point it out and if it doesn't change walk away. This way you teach people how to treat you, at work, in friendships and relationships. Learn to say no! Boundaries are the quietest and best way to say no. You'll be amazed at the happiness and clarity that flows in once boundaries are set.

All those friends who left, let them go. They weren't your friends in the first place just people you happened to be around!They won't be there for you during your darkest moments and thankfully so. Forgive yourself for the times YOU weren't a great friend when you hurt and disappointed people. Then let it go. Even the friendships that dissolved with no incident let them go. Love them from a distance because it isn't about you. Life just takes over.  Check you ego, always. Everyone's life has an ebb and flow. Nothing in life is permanent.

Overtime, some experiences in life are like water. Some can nourish and encourage growth and some can erode and stop it. Learn to observe and learn to detach. Learn to recognize the erosion; it won't always hit over your head. It'll be packaged in pretty lies, even the ones you tell yourself. Not everything you want is meant for you. That is not always a bad thing. You'll always thank yourself later, trust me.

People you love and care about will envy, you, lie about you and betray you. Forgive them, they didn't get the unconditional love and encouragement you received. To them love was transactional. So, it was confusing when you loved them just because. They'll blame you instead of insecurity who is their realest enemy. Just because you showed love and loyalty it doesn't mean the could really see it. Just because you love them don't accept toxic relationships friendships or otherwise.

Forgive yourself for not seeing this patterns earlier. Take your bestfriend's words to heart. Don't fault yourself for loving people. We all need love. Love is powerful. Love, real love, will take your hand and slowly walk you out of the dark.

You won't understand because it won't be in the shape your attached to. You've always thought it'd be something someone right in front of you. But the love you need lives inside of you. Be still sometimes it'll break through. Welcome back the quiet shy introverted you, she'll get you to read a lot of the books on your growing book list. You'll recall more of your purpose in quiet reflective solitude.

You'll make better decisions in stillness, detached from emotion and expectation. You need a better, honest, loving, gentle accepting relationship with yourself. Why are you gentler and more encouraging to others and not yourself?

This question will challenge your creative, emotional, romantic and expressive nature. You wear your heart on your sleeve but put it away and save it for your real ones and day ones. They'll support you but also tell you about yourself in the most loving way. Again, you'll thank me later.

Love,

Older but Still Evolving Self